


How Long I've Waited For Your Touch

by lullys



Series: September Verse [4]
Category: Actor RPF, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Established Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Physical Disability, September Verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-23
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-11-19 23:24:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,352
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11323878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lullys/pseuds/lullys
Summary: Jared feels Jensen for the first time.





	How Long I've Waited For Your Touch

**Author's Note:**

> this timestamp takes place almost two years after the September 11th attacks, a few months after chapter 28.
> 
> Thanks again Heather for beta'ing it!

Jared’s waiting for Jensen to come see him after work. He is anxious and fidgety, but Jensen promised he would be there soon. Jared has high hopes for tonight, he prays they aren’t crushed. He tries to tell himself it will be okay no matter what, but still. Jared is a bit overwhelmed from the earlier events of this morning. He touches his thigh and squeezes it as hard as he can, feeling a small sensation of pressure there. He smiles staring at it.

Just that morning, Jared had been making out in bed with Jensen before work, and his boyfriend straddled his legs, leaning over to kiss him as he pressed his hands against Jared’s thighs. Jared instantly pushed him away, shock written across his face.

“Jared, what happened?” Jensen asked with a frown.

“Do it… do it again, please. On my legs,” Jared said breathlessly, his eyes open wide in disbelief.

Jensen’s frown deepened, but he did as Jared asked, placing his hands gently on his thighs and raising an eyebrow.

Jared shook his head. “No, press harder, don’t be afraid. Please Jen.”

Jensen seemed to pick up on the urgency in Jared’s voice, because he squeezed Jared’s thighs much harder, and watched those hazel eyes immediately fill with tears.

“Oh my God.”

Jensen immediately let go and was up in Jared’s face in a second.

“What happened baby? Are you okay, you’re scaring me!”

“Jen… I can feel you. I can feel your hands on my legs,” Jared said as tears ran down his face.

Jensen’s jaw dropped, and he looked at Jared’s legs, then back at his face. “Oh Jared, are you serious?”

Jared nodded quickly. “Yes. It’s almost nothing, but I feel _something_. I can feel a very faint tingle now, and when you squeezed me, I could feel a small amount of pressure.”

Jensen did it again, and Jared smiled through his tears. “God, this feels incredible, you have no idea.”

Jensen placed a lingering kiss on Jared’s mouth before kneeling back up. “Jay, do you think… maybe... it’s coming back?” His voice came out almost whispery, as if Jensen was afraid to ask it out loud.

Jared shook his head. “No, I don’t think so. I have a complete injury, the doctor said I wouldn’t get movement back. I don’t…” Jared looked away before continuing, swallowing hard, a lump forming in his throat. “I don’t want to get any hopes up. I’m finally accepting who I am now, I don’t want to go back to the beginning if this turns out to be nothing.”

Jensen placed a stray strand of hair behind Jared’s ear, nodding. “You should go see the doctor. He can evaluate you and tell you for sure if there have been any notable changes.”

Jared nodded, looking back at Jensen. “You’re right. I’ll go see him.”

*

Jared had gone to the hospital that same day. He wanted to see Dr. Kripke as soon as possible, and unfortunately Jensen couldn’t get out from work to go with him and Jared didn’t want to wait. He was feeling something very faint in parts of his lower body, and he just couldn’t wait another day to know what that meant. So he had called the fire station saying he had an emergency and couldn’t make it into work today, then drove Jensen’s car to the hospital.

Fortunately, the doctor had been available to see him, and he’d quickly got an immediate explanation of what was going on from a cautiously excited Jared.

“I know it may not be anything, but I can feel something doc, I’m not crazy.”

Dr. Kripke had made Jared lie down and did sensory tests on Jared’s lower body. There were parts, like his waist and thighs, where he could feel a bit more with the right amount of pressure, but the sensation was pretty much non-existent on his lower legs and feet. Then the doctor took Jared to have a CT scan, to re-evaluate his spine.

Once back in Dr. Kripke’s office, they went over the results. “Jared,” the doctor began, crossing his fingers, “the CT showed that the injury on your spine is still the same, nothing there has changed. However, although not very common, a patient with a complete SCI can regain some sensation below the level of the injury, and it can happen mostly up until two years after the injury. You’re almost at that mark, and since you told me you have been more physically active lately, that is the most logical reason for why you actually have some small feeling back. Or it’s just your body giving you a treat - which, again, not likely, but possible. I just don’t want to get your hopes up that this will increase or that everything will return. Remember, as I’ve said, you still have a complete spinal cord injury. But you got a small gift today.”

*

Now, Jared is waiting for Jensen as he processes everything. He really wasn’t expecting a miracle recovery, he didn’t lie to Jensen when he said he’s finally accepting his body. His life is great as it is now, he’s adjusting day by day and it’s okay. Just being able to feel, even if it’s a tiny bit, is huge. He didn’t want to tell anything to Jensen over the phone, and he knows his boyfriend is curious to know what the doctor said.

Jensen finally unlocks the door and hurries to the couch where Jared is sitting, joining his boyfriend and giving him a long hello kiss. “Tell me baby, what did the doc say? Was there any progress?”

Jared holds Jensen’s hand as he answers with a tiny smile. “No. I’ve still got a complete spinal cord injury. He said it's unlikely but it can happen that a person can regain some small feeling even with a complete SCI.”

Jensen's face falls, and Jared knows Jensen might have been even more excited about the prospect of a recovery than Jared himself. So Jared squeezes his hand. “Jen, it's okay. Really. It's more than okay. Yesterday I couldn't feel anything, and do you know what happened today?” Jensen raises a questioning eyebrow at him. “I felt that my bladder was full. I knew that I had to go to the bathroom.”

Jared waits and he's rewarded with Jensen's huge smile. “Really, Jay?”

“Yes!” Jared says, still very excited. One of his biggest issues due to his SCI was not having bladder control, especially not being able to tell when he has to pee. And today, for the first time since his accident Jared actually felt light pressure on his bladder, and he knew it was full. He isn't ashamed to admit he cried when that happened. This small achievement is a huge deal, and both men know how much this means. He hugs Jared tight and whispers in his ear.

“Holy fuck Jay this is amazing news! I am so happy for you, baby - we should celebrate it!”

“Yes.” Jared agrees, planting a kiss to the back of Jensen’s hand. “I have an idea of how we can celebrate actually.”

Jensen tilts his head. “Oh really? How?”

Jared gives him a devious smile and a significant look. “I want to see if I can feel something else as well.”

It takes Jensen a few seconds, but his eyes light up when he realizes what Jared means. “Oh my God Jay, do you think… can you feel it?”

Jared shrugs. “I don’t know. I guess we will have to test to see if I can feel you or not, what do you say?” Jared asks with an innocent smile that’s not innocent at all.

“Holy fuck yes!” Jensen answers, planting a kiss on Jared’s mouth. “But wait, I need a shower first, you smell all wonderful and I’m gross.”

Jared winks, biting his bottom lip. “Well, you should hurry then.”

Jensen’s gaze travels down to Jared’s mouth and back up, and he jumps from the couch running to Jared’s bathroom. “Meet me at your bed!” He shouts over his shoulder, and Jared laughs.

He transfers to his wheelchair and heads to his bedroom, finding the bathroom door closed and hearing the shower already running. Jared grins as he moves to his bed, making himself comfortable in the middle of it with pillows supporting his back. He reaches into the nightstand and retrieves the lube, setting it next to him. Jared wonders if he should undress, but decides against it. He knows Jensen likes to do it, so he will leave it to his boyfriend.

Jensen exits the bathroom completely naked, still drying himself when he walks into the bedroom and Jared’s mouth waters. Jensen’s body is a work of art, all of it. Jared buries deep down the tiny pang of jealousy he feels that his own body will never be as perfect as Jensen’s, instead he focuses on the fact that this amazing body is all his forever.

“Well?” Jared asks as Jensen stands by the foot of the bed, looking at him. “One of us is overdressed here, I’d say.”

Jensen scoffs and climbs onto the bed on all fours, throwing the towel aside and kneeling beside Jared. He teasingly removes Jared’s shirt, pants and socks. Straddling his legs, Jensen carefully removes his boxers, and he smiles when Jared’s dick comes into view, as he always does. It’s not always that Little Jared, as Jensen calls it, wants to join the fun, but Jared is learning not to be too bothered by it. They are always finding new ways to feel pleasure and Jared can’t complain.

Besides, tonight they have another focus. And Jared prays it goes well. _God, let me feel him, that’s all I ask._

Jensen blankets Jared’s body, running his hand over Jared’s torso and kissing him hard and deep. Jared wraps his arms around Jensen and brings him closer.

“You ready for this?” Jensen murmurs, forehead touching Jared’s, a worried look on his face.

“Yes,” Jared nods, “if I can’t feel anything, then nothing changes and we keep going like we’re used to. I just want to make sure.”

Even though it’s nearly impossible Jared really is trying not to get his hopes up, but as he told Jensen, if nothing happens at least they tried.

Jensen reaches for the lube, coating his fingers with it. Placing one of Jared’s legs over his shoulder, he gives his thigh a hard squeeze, winking at Jared. Jared can feel that very faintly, and that’s enough to put him more at ease. Jared watches as Jensen opens him up, they usually do it together ever since their first time, but tonight, Jared lets him do the job alone.

Jensen has two fingers inside Jared, and he quirks an eyebrow at him. “Feel anything?”

Jared shakes his head. “Nothing. Just get your dick in there fast, please.”

“You’re so bossy,” Jensen chuckles, finishing opening Jared up quickly and wiping his fingers on Jared’s shirt, who mumbles ‘you’re washing that’.

Ignoring Jared’s perfect pout, Jensen throws the lube at Jared, who opens the cap and squeezes some on his fingers, coating Jensen’s dick with it and bringing it to his hole. Jensen holds his shaft as he begins to push inside, and Jared retrieves his hand, making Jensen frown. “Aren’t you going to…”

“Not tonight. If I’m going to feel this, it’s gonna be only one way.” Jared usually keeps his hand on his hole every time they have sex so he can feel his boyfriend penetrating him, but he doesn’t want that tonight.

Bracing himself with his free hand on the mattress, Jensen hovers over Jared, locking their gaze, as he pushes deeper into him. “Anything?”

Jared shakes his head. “Nothing.”

Jensen bites his lip, raising an eyebrow. “I’m almost all the way in.”

He lets go of his dick and places a hand on Jared’s hip for leverage. With a quick motion, Jensen bottoms out, twisting his hips so that his dick hits Jared’s prostate as hard as he can, jolting his body.

All the air leaves Jared’s lungs as it happens. There’s no mistaking it, and Jared’s eyes instantly fill with tears as he actually _feels_ Jensen inside him, very clearly.

 _“Oh. My. God.”_ Jared’s voice is as soft as a sigh, sensation hitting him.

“Jay?” Jensen’s hand is on his face in an instant, a perplexed look on his face.

Jared places both of his hands on Jensen’s face in return, bringing it so close their noses bump. “I can feel you, Jen.”

Jensen’s jaw drops, and his own eyes water. “Are you serious?”

“Yes, when you hit my prostate like that I felt you.”

To make sure, Jensen slides almost the whole way out and back in, burying himself as deep as he can inside Jared at that same angle. Jared smiles through the tears that are now sliding down his cheeks. “I can’t believe this!”

Jensen is again up in Jared’s face, touching their foreheads and caressing him as they cry and laugh together, both understanding how monumental this moment is. Jensen holds himself in place, locked inside Jared, allowing him to feel the unbelievable connection they gained today. They kiss passionately, wet, sloppy and full of emotion.

“I love you so much,” Jared breathes into Jensen’s mouth, which is salty from both of their tears.

Later, after Jensen has cleaned them up, they lie in bed on their sides, facing each other.

“You know…” Jared starts, running his fingers lightly over Jensen’s face. “It’s okay if nothing else ever changes, it’s okay that I won’t walk again, I can take it. Being able to finally feel you in me is much more than I could ever imagine. That’s all I’ll ever need.”

Jensen drops a lasting kiss on Jared’s mouth, caressing his hair. “You know what the best part is? It was only the first time. You can feel me forever and beyond that.”

Jared smiles brightly. Dr. Kripke was wrong, Jared didn’t get a small present today. It was the size of the world.


End file.
